SuperWhoLock Tango (a parody of Cell Block Tango from Chicago)
by TARDIStime
Summary: Rose Tyler is pissed that the Doctor doesn't tell her a bloody thing, Mary Watson is a murderous bridezilla, Castiel is a scary jealous girlfriend, and Chantho is just confused. (SuperWhoLock, Fem!Castiel, Fem!Gabriel. Rated for language, show tunes, murder and other mild adult content.)
1. SuperWhoLock Tango

**(A/N) Hey guys! This plot bunny popped into my head after I binge-watched Season 4 of Supernatural (again) and listened to Cell Block Tango in the car. Not simultaneously, mind you. I'm not THAT good.**

 **Hope you guys like it! As for those of you who are reading 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond', have no fear; I am NOT abandoning the story. Just taking a break.**

 **Anywho, this features Fem!Castiel, Fem!Gabriel, Destiel, Sabriel, Doctor/Rose, Sherlolly, Tomolly, Master/Chantho (I think), and John/Mary.**

 **The cast is as follows:**

 **Liz- fem!Gabriel (Supernatural)**

 **Annie- Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)**

 **June- Molly Hooper (Sherlock)**

 **Hunyak- Chantho (Doctor Who)**

 **Velma- Mary Watson (Sherlock)**

 **Mona- fem!Castiel (Supernatural)**

 **Matron "Mama" Morton- Sarah-Jane Smith (Doctor Who)**

 **You guys know the drill: Call out errors, don't be a jerk about it, be awesome readers.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

[SARAH-JANE]

And now, the six merry murderesses of the Stormcage Prison in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'...

[GABRIEL]

...Dean!

[ROSE]

Jenny!

[MOLLY]

Scalpel!

[CHANTHO]

Chantho!

[MARY]

Orangery!

[CASTIEL]

Hunter!

[GABRIEL]

Dean!

[ROSE]

Jenny!

[MOLLY]

Scalpel!

[CHANTHO]

Chantho!

[MARY]

Orangery!

[CASTIEL]

Hunter!

[ALL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

[MARY]

I betcha you would have done the same!

[GABRIEL]

Dean!

[ROSE]

Jenny!

[MOLLY]

Scalpel!

[CHANTHO]

Chantho!

[MARY]

Orangery!

[CASTIEL]

Hunter!

[GABRIEL]

You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down? Like... Sammy.

Sammy liked to save his brother.

No, not Adam. Dean.

So I see him on Tuesday

And I am really bored, and I'm

looking for a bit of trickery

and there's Sammy: running around,

Risking his life and saving his brother.

No, not Adam.

Dean!

So, I said to him,

I said,

"you save that idiot one more time..."

and he did.

So I raised up my hand,

and I gave him two warning snaps...

...All. Tuesday. Long.

[GIRLS]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have done the same!

[ROSE]

I met The Doctor from

Gallifrey about two years ago

and he told me he was alone

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started traveling together.

We'd go on an adventure, we'd go to the TARDIS,

I'd give him a banana, we'd have dinner...

And then I found out,

"Alone" he told me?

"Alone", my ass!

Not only was there Jenny

...oh, no, _Gallifrey_ stands.

Those bloody Time Lords, you know?

So that night, when we got back from Cardiff,

I gave him his banana as usual...

You know, some guys just can't hold

their Aspirin!

[GABRIEL, ROSE, MOLLY, CASTIEL]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

[MOLLY]

Now, I'm standing in the morgue

carving up the corpse for the police,

minding my own business,

in storms my boyfriend Tom

in a jealous rage.

"You've been screwing the detective,"

he says. He was crazy!

And he kept screaming,

"you've been screwing the detective!"

And then he ran into my scalpel...

He ran into my scalpel ten times!

[ALL]

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

[CHANTHO]

Chan- What am I doing here- tho? Chan-they say Professor Yana let the Futurekind in, and I stopped the rocket from taking off-tho. Chan-but it's not true, I am innocent-tho. Chan-I don't know why the Shadow Proclaimation says I did it-tho. Chan-I tried to explain on Earth, but they didn't understand-tho.

[MOLLY]

Yeah, but did you do it?

[CHANTHO]

Chan-not guilty-tho!

[GIRLS]

He had it coming...

[MARY]

My bridesmaid Janine and

I wanted our pictures from the wedding to be perfect

and the photographer, Jonathan Small,

Said it'd be no problem.

Now, after John and I got married,

we got the pictures taken at the venue:

Me, John, Sherlock, Janine, Molly, Tom, kids, adults,

Casual acquaintances,

one right after the other.

Well, we were at the Orangery at Goldney Hall,

Having the wedding reception,

boozin',

havin' a few laughs,

and Major James Sholto turns up,

So we go to greet him.

But because of the unit, the one he "got killed",

He was stabbed by Small,

just like Bainbrige in Sherlock and John's case-

"The Bloody Guardsman"

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew he was dead!

He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He had it coming all along!

I didn't do it,

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

[MARY]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

(They had it coming)

[MARY]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

(They had it coming)

[MARY]

They had it coming

[GIRLS]

(They took a flower)

[MARY]

All along

[GIRLS]

(In its prime)

[MARY]

I didn't do it

[GIRLS]

(And then they used it)

[MARY]

But if I'd done it

[GIRLS]

(And they abused it)

[MARY]

How could you tell me

[GIRLS]

(It was a murder)

[MARY]

That I was wrong?

[GIRLS]

(But not a crime!)

[CASTIEL]

I gripped Dean Winchester

Tight, and raised him from Perdition.

He was a real adventurous guy...

The Righteous Man... a hunter.

But he was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Anna, Lisa,

Alastair, and Crowley.

I guess you can say we broke up

because of hunting differences.

He saw himself on Earth,

and I saw him in Purgatory!

[ALL]

That damn demon, mon, mon, mon

That damn demon, mon, mon, mon, mon

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

They had it comin'

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

They had it comin'

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

They had it comin'

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

They had it comin'

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

They had it comin'

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

They had it comin'

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

All along

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

All along

'Cause if they used us

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

'Cause if they used us

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

And they abused us

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

And they abused us

[GABRIEL, ROSE, CASTIEL]

How could you tell us

[MARY, MOLLY, CHANTHO]

That we were wrong?

[GIRLS]

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would

Have done

The same!

[GABRIEL]

You save that idiot one more time!

[ROSE]

"Alone", my ass!

[MOLLY]

Ten times!

[CHANTHO]

Chan- The Shadow Proclamation-tho.

[MARY]

Sherlock and John's case- "The Bloody Guardsman"

[CASTIEL]

Hunting differences.

[GABRIEL]

Dean.

[ROSE]

Jenny.

[MOLLY]

Scalpel.

[CHANTHO]

Chantho.

[MARY]

Orangery.

[CASTIEL]

Hunter.

* * *

 **(A/N) Hope you guys enjoyed! I'm planning on writing another SuperWhoLock story, which will be a "Girl's Night Out". Please nominate a Doctor Who companion that you want to see in it.**


	2. Author's note

**(A/N) Hey guys. Just a quick question, which ladies do you guys want to see from Sherlock and Doctor Who in the story that I'm working on (The SuperWhoLock girls' night out)? Try to mention only two or three from both categories. Thanks, love you guys! :-)**

 **~TARDIStime**


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